Dating+for+the+Disabled

Mary Jean Loosbrock ED222A Article Review 2 March, 2012 [|Dating for the Disabled Article]



Dating for the Disabled Dating is so much fun! Couples get to experience the internal questioning of “should I give her a hug or handshake or maybe a kiss on the cheek… I don’t know!” They experience their comfort zone being tested, the trembling of words, the sweating palms, and so much more. Regardless of all these aspect dating should be a pretty fun thing to do right? Well, according to Charlotte Gerber, sometimes the lines involved in dating can become extremely blurring and very uncomfortable especially if there is an individual with a disability. In her article she discusses the different parts that contain and contribute to couples who desire tips and answers towards a more fulfilled dating experience involving people with disabilities. People who are disabled may have a difficult time in this area of dating. Many aspects cross the mind of a people who may date with disabilities such as if that person who is dating them doing it just to be nice or make it into a novelty, or because they think they can relate to the situation and the experience of the disabled. Someone with a disability is constantly hoping that the person they date will look past the disability and see them as a normal individual. Whether a person is disabled in the couple or not disabled it can become very difficult because the one without a disability does not want to offend their date that has an exception. Gerber describes that their or tips involving different cultural norms and emotions involved with dating and disabilities. She says that emotions take one of the biggest tolls in dating with disabilities because those who are disabled are constantly thinking and worrying about the way they appear to others physically. The crazy thing about this concept is that disabled individuals are most likely more ready to dive into a relationship because they are more emotionally stabled because of the experiences they have already had and had to overcome. Disabled individuals are more self-assured and very independent looking for someone who is vey much like them ready emotionally ready to take on the sacrifices and joys of dating. Cultural differences have a prominent impact on the issue of disability and dating. For example, those who are disabled in one culture may be views as a good that is permanently ruined and no longer for decent use. However, in others and most cultures this is not the number one view. Yet, people without disabilities have a hard time excepting those who do obtain these obstacles. Gerber gives a scenario of a women and a man going on a date. The man is not disabled but the women is blind and as their conversations were just staring, walking to there dinner and movie. The man asks her if she has seen the beautiful flowers bloom outside the office buildings that day. After what has come out of his mouth he was instantly embarrassed and humiliated. Gerber explains that yes, it may feel awkward and be difficult to be with those who are disabled but those people have to remember that those disabled people know they make others feel uncomfortable by their disability so they try to make things more comfortable by giving the other nondisabled individual confidence and encouragement. This is a two way street where both individuals have to work on their relationship embracing the awkward moments. Gerber gives some quick tips for those who want to date a disabled individual. She says that one must be aware of their dates needs, permit the disabled individual to set the pace and get comfortable first, do not hammer questions about their disability especially if they are hesitant towards the questions, and good on the date expecting a good time just as your date is expecting to have as well.